Was I In Love?

Up till today I still don't know the answer myself. But one thing for sure, I did care a lot for her and would do anything to please her and to make her smile. Once, there was this craze over the collection of used phonecards. She was also crazy over it and when I came to know of it, I started a collection too but not for myself. I would try to find out the phonecards that she was looking for and would buy them secretly with my pocket money. And over a period of a few months I had actually collected 2 album full of used phonecards. The albums are still with me as I never had the guts nor the chance to give them to her. Come to think of it now, I wonder if it was worth saving my pocket money (which wasn't much then, $1 a day) and spending it on the used phonecards, some of which cost as much as $10 each. Was that the price I had to pay for liking her? Does that mean that I was in with love her? Does falling in love make people do silly things? I had never told her that I like her nor did I tell her about the things that I had been doing for her behind her back. Can she feel it? Must love be told or be felt? Does being shy about saying the 3 magical words mean that you don't love the person? Isn't love a kind of feeling that one needs to feel with our heart rather than hear it with our ears? Even if it had been love, I would only consider it as a one-sided love. We had never go out on single date nor really talk about our feeling for each other. In fact, we hardly talked to each other outside school, other than the few times when we crossed each other's path. So to put it simply, we didn't even start any serious relationship, we were all the while just friends, good friends at best. But when she told me that she would be moving to another part of Singapore, my life sort of came tumbling down. I don't know why I took it so hard and had wanted to tell her how I felt but alas, being a timid boy which I have always been (and still is), I kept it to myself. I even wrote her a poem and had wanted to give it to her together with the phonecard albums but ........................

~~~ Stay Positive! Stay Happy! ~~~
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